Infidelity is one of those big and harsh boulders that hold the strength to break a couple and everything within them. Indeed it is a very big mistake that comes with severe consequences. These consequences are bad not only for the betrayed partner but also for the betraying partner. If you doubt your partner of cheating, hire a private detective. An investigator will not only help you to find the Surviving infidelity but also give you proof which will help to confront your partner.
If your relationship is also going through this phase, then you should read this article until it’s very last sentence. Yes, because it is a guide to Surviving infidelity and come stronger out of it as a couple. Remember that, if there is a will, then there is away!
The efforts should be done by both the partners as proper healing isn’t possible without both willing to try. So, share this with your partner as well:
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Confessing the Affair:
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Admit it:
The one who has committed the sin of infidelity should also gather the strength to admit it. You know that you can’t hide it from your partner and he/she will know about it some way or the other. So, you should be the one telling about the Surviving infidelity.
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Control your Reactions and Channel the Rage:
Hearing such a thing from your life partner isn’t easy. People react in different ways on such confessions. Some of these reactions are:
- Denial: You deny the whole thing and try to think that it never happened.
- Stonewalling: You build a wall between the two of you and never try to communicate with the cheater.
- Full Honesty: You show how you are feeling honestly. This one is the best method of reacting.
Apart from this, you also have to channel your anger and rage into something meaningful. Showing too much rage will only distance you two forever. So, you have to be the bigger person by using all the rage as your strength.
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Don’t Give Up Immediately:
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Don’t Reach to Conclusions:
We know that you are also suffering from pain by seeing your partner in that situation. Apart from it, you have to make decisions regarding the affair and the marriage. Of course, you can’t be in two boats at the same time. So, you have to sever the ties of one.
But, don’t make any hasty decisions. Give your partner some time to recover. Ending your marriage for the affair isn’t an ideal scenario as second marriages have more chances of divorce than the first ones. So, don’t reach to conclusions just yet.
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Don’t Quit Right Away:
You may feel like leaving your partner without considering the depth of your relationship or the future of your kids. But, doing this immediately is not the right thing to do. There are several cases of Surviving infidelity where the betrayed partner has quit after knowing about the affair but later regretted the decision. So, let your rage settle down and avoid taking decisions in that state of mind.
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Be Patient:
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Give your Partner Some Time:
Asking your partner to forgive you and trust you again is very easy, but being in his/her shoes and doing the same thing is difficult. You should understand the depth of your mistake. Don’t hope that your partner will forgive you and forget everything in some days.
You have a wait as trusting someone again takes a lot more time. You should keep doing your efforts without expecting anything in return. We know that being selfless isn’t easy, but consider it your penance.
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Be Ready for Ups and Downs:
You may feel like forgiving your partner, but this journey is going to be a tough one. You will feel fully healed on some days and angry for staying with a cheater on other days. You will feel certain emotions like insecurity, worry, rage, etc. You have to be ready for all these ups and downs. Handle them with strength and never let your inner strength break in the process.
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Wait for a Little before Going into Graphic Details:
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Share Everything, but After Some Time:
You may be feeling like being totally honest with your spouse now, but throwing every detail on the face of your partner while confessing is not the right thing to do. Your partner will ask for the graphic details like the texts, images or other proves of your infidelity, but you should not give all this immediately.
Also, don’t deny anything. Just say that you will share every graphic detail but at the right time. Tell your partner that how these details can increase his/her pain so, waiting for a little is best for both.
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Calm your Urges:
You may feel like knowing every detail, including graphic details right away. But, getting all this information will only inflict more misery upon you. So, calm your urges of getting into all these details. You will see that these cravings will automatically disappear as you will start healing.
It means that all these graphic details are seldom helpful in your recovery, so; avoid them as much as you can.
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Cut off from the Main Reason of this Whole Situation:
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End your Affair:
The first step towards winning back the trust of your partner and making him/her feel secure is ending your extramarital affair. This is the right time to do it as you are ready to handle all the drama that is going to happen with this breakup.
The other person also may have expectations from you, but you have to be very clear about your intentions. End all conversations and point of contacts with that third person by telling your reasons. Never look back at him or her from that point onwards.
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See the Proof:
You will be able to end all your doubts by seeing the proofs of your partner’s breakup with that third person. Don’t hesitate in asking for proof or checking his phone regularly. All of this will make you feel more secure and help in your recovery.